today i named my gods. they are these:
fear, me, chase, popularity
and just at the admission of those i felt relief and somehow peace that there is something yet bigger than these things and something compeletly infinite.
it just requires letting go of this hole-laden and comfortable thing that's sinking me, and then crossing those treacherous waters through which i can vaguely see whatever that blinding white ship is that's supposed to be God...and peace.
IT'S THERE! it is.
:)
....
i think i'm just sick of not being sure of anything.
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